I do solemnly swear
And I drink and I smoke
Drive too fast
And tell rude jokes
Play my music loud
Stand out in a crowd
I once threw up on gin
I once kicked a priest right in the shin
I been bad
The best thing you ever had
Spank me girl
I've tortured flies
And I've told some lies
Been known to toke
Why I forgot to vote
I wear ugly shirts
And I like to flirt
I once fell short on care
I once forgot to notice your hair
I make bad decisions
Did a month in prison
Didn't buy you pearls
Look at other girls
Think a lot of myself
Never dust the shelf
I'm such a stupid clown
I didn't put the toilet seat down
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